he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
