I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
