I think I am morally bankrupt
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
