Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
