the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
