I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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