Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize