She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
