Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Your penis caused this!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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