There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize