I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
