It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
