I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
