We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
