1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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