Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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