R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
