Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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