I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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