i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
