oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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