You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
