your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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