you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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