Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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