Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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