she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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