so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize