i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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