He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
