If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
