Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They took my balls.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
