You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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