I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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