At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
