So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
