This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
