and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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