we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
