he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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