i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
