Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
