when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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