Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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