I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
