Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
