Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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