Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I need water and some morals
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
