A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
