It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
