Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
