I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
