i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
