I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Randomize
