am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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