A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
