let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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