Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
