people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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