YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
