did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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