How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They have beer where we have blood.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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