Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
