We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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