my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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