The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
