yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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