ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
