You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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