sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
